And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I smell like Dick and happiness
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