Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
