it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Quick, to the slutcave!
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Randomize
