he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to