well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
never play flip cup with pint glasses
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid