I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Randomize
