dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
