Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Let's paint friendship bongs
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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