i jhust puked up my retainher.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
