Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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