seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Let's paint friendship bongs
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Randomize
