u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
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I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
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Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything