yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?