I love you!
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.