well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
