Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.