woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH