I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize