Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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