I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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