let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
