He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
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