Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
