she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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