I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
