Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
