so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I party with great urgency now.
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