just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
