that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
