capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize