Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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