I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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