Is it normal to miss your booty call?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
