Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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