What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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