I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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