I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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