Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
This house was built for laser tag.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
