I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
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In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
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I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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