he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
