Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
