okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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