first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize