I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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