Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
