Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
