im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Randomize
