so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
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this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
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I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
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