Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
dude i'm inner monologue high
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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