I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Randomize
