p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize