she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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