I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
