i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
