we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
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She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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