So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
