we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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