Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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