the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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