and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it penis luge time yet?
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize