You're a womanizer and a bitch.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
