so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Randomize
