How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
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They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
