M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Randomize
