come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
this hospital has no fireball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize